I have a newfound respect for radiologists. Many of them are seeing people at the tail end of what is a very l o n g course of treatment. Take my case, for example, which is not uncommon for breast cancer patients:
11/29/16: Routine Mammogram Screening
12/14/16: Follow-Up Mammogram & ultrasound because "they saw something".
12/21/16: Biopsy because "what we see doesn't look good"
12/22/16: Notorious call from Doctor: You Have Cancer.
1/12/17: First visit with surgeon in new role as A Cancer Patient
2/13/17: Partial Mastectomy surgery followed by two weeks of recovery.
2/24/17: Radiation Oncologist explains radiology treatment some day in the future.
3/3/17: Medical Oncologist explains possible chemotherapy and hormone therapy after that.
3/17/17: Notorious Call #2: Yes, possible chemotherapy is now certain chemotherapy.
4/13/17: Chemotherapy begins.
4/23/17: Start 5-day stay in hospital thanks to complications from Chemo Infusion #1
5/4/17: Have head shaved because hair is falling out. I now officially "look sick".
6/27/17: Three months of Chemotherapy treatment finally ends.
8/2/17: Preparation for radiation treatment begins.
If you count the months on this timeline, they total nine. That's three months shy of a year. A year of worry, bad news, stress, sickness, more bad news, more sickness, fatigue, hair loss, more fear: All thanks to a tiny 7mm mass that wasn't there a year ago.
And I've kept my chin up and been a trouper through all of it. Until now, faced with even more treatment in the form of two more months of radiation therapy.
People all along this long road have said about radiation, "You're at the easy part now!", "The worst is over!", "Radiation is a piece of cake!", "It's a big nothing!", "It's quick, 15 minutes you're in and out!" And don't get me wrong--I'm glad everyone said that! Seriously. No one gets through surgery and chemotherapy by being told the rest of this is all shit too. Cancer treatment is a marathon, and no marathon runner wants a guy on the sidelines saying, "Dude! Those last 4 miles are going to SUCK!". No, we want cheering sections telling us we're almost there and we can make it.
But with that encouragement does come a dose of let-down when you finally get here. Yes, radiation is WAY better than everything that came before it. But it's not quite the big nothing everyone said it would be. Not only does the treatment give you new side effects to freak out over, radiation therapy is daily. That's a doctor's appointment, every single day, 5 days a week for two months.
Raise of hands: How many people think a doctor's appointment is no big sweat off a busy workday? Anyone? Hands?
I feel bad for my Radiology team. These are kind, caring people here to help me. Like all the medical professionals I've seen before them, they have devoted their careers to caring for people like me, who are scared, dazed, and just trying to survive this sudden disruption that has turned everything upside down. Lets also not forget that they are humans with lives of their own. Who knows, maybe one of them was handed divorce papers this morning? Or maybe someone had their own "Notorious Call" from a doctor today. They still have to smile and comfort and try to bring light to people like me who are JUST FUCKING TIRED OF ALL OF THIS AND WANT OUR GODDAMNED LIVES BACK!!!
Ahem, sorry. That just slipped out.
So here is my request to you: If you know a radiologist--especially one who works in a cancer center--go give them a hug. Tell them they did good today. Their jobs are tough. They are basically that poor guy at Tech Support who has to talk to you after you've spent hours trying to fix your computer, then more hours trying to get through the infuriating automated phone maze in an effort to reach an actual human who can get you back on-line. You're angry and ready to slam your fist through the monitor before they can so much as say, "Hi, I'm Sam, how can I help you?" Except, unlike your basic tech support guy, radiologists are dealing with real life situations with people who are tired and scared and trying to keep life going for as long as we can. Their jobs are hard, and the situations they're dealing with are a a lot bigger deal than not being able to get on Instagram for the afternoon.
So go hug a radiologist today!! And tell them their patients appreciate them, even if they didn't say so!
