The Landscaping Project I Did After Swearing I Wouldn't Do Any More Landscaping

It started with a conversation with a friend from work. We were discussing the seeds we're starting for our summer gardens. Every year, he grows 30+ different varieties and I'd asked what was his favorite. Hands-down: Atomic Grape from Baker Creek. He said I need to try it, and--in fact--if all his seeds sprout, he'll have two extra. He'll give me one. I told him my space was small (I'd already plotted out what to plant this year!) and he said if I have to grow it in a bucket, grow it. I won't be sorry.

So I go back to my garden plans, looking for where I can add one more tomato. My friend's bucket suggestion was out. I don't do container gardening, or any growing that requires extra fertilizer and hand watering. I need a spot where I can grow in the ground, with a drip line attached to the timer in the garage.

The next conversation happened in my head between me and the part of my sub-conscious I call Evil Energy. Evil Energy always thinks I'm full of limitless power, money, and time to follow any whim that crosses my mind. It went like this:

Evil: "Add a raised bed to that spot you've been eyeing for 8 years."

Evil was referring to this one:

Me: "That's a landscaping project. I said I'd never do another landscaping project, and I don't have the money to contract it out."

Evil: "It would be a piece of cake. Here's another idea, make THREE beds, different heights. It would be that perfect separation between the garden and the rest of the yard, and it would take care of that awkward partition between the gold garden rock and the gray river rock. You know that's always bugged you."

Me: "It would be a lot of work. Backbreaking, even."

Evil (ignoring my protests): "Then you could get an arbor that crosses the two beds, and get rid of all those wires you and Tommy put up to string green beans to the shed and the house. Wouldn't that be beautiful? It would arch over the steps to the shed, like the grand entrance your space needs."

Me: "That's a lot of work and now even more money."

Evil: "You can do it! You DESERVE it!"

Me: "I deserve a little R&R."

Evil: "I thought this was going to be The Year Of The Garden. You even boasted about that on Facebook. What was the point if you're just going to plant the same old shit you planted last year?"

Me: "F&#$ you, Evil. That was a low blow."

Evil: "It'll be a piece of cake. Will take you one weekend, two tops."

Evil was wrong. It took FOUR weekends and nearly broke my back. Because Evil neglected to remind me that under the top soil in my garden is about 2" of crushed gravel from the lawn that had been there before we bought the house. And for my raised beds to do well and take advantage of that nutrient-rich clay down under, I'd need to get that gravel out before filling my beds with soil and compost. Suffice to say, it was NOT a piece of cake.

Nonetheless, I dove in.  I started by finding the right arbor then building the three raised beds.  That took two weekends, but was relatively easy (and kinda fun--shhhhh).

Next came shoveling out all the rock and peeling back the landscape fabric to expose the ground these beds would sit in.  I'd also stained the beds with weather sealing stain and lined the insides with plastic.  My hope is, these beds will outlast me.

Then came two full days of shoveling out a wheelbarrow full of crushed gravel, leveling the beds on the slant that is my back yard, and tapping into the existing irrigation line (a complete pain in the ass).

When I'd finally finished all that, the beds weren't exactly in the position I'd planned.  But the reality of what the yard "wants to do" usually takes over my ideas on where I want things.  But it is close enough for government work.

And I confess, now that it's done, I'm thrilled.

Usually, when I start a project of any kind, I have a 50/50 chance of it turning out like I'd originally seen it in my minds-eye.  I have about a 2 in 100 chance of it actually turning out better than I'd thought.  In this case, my idea of staining the beds a dark maple to contrast with the light rock made this even nicer than I'd expected.  it also gave me an opportunity to freshen up the rock that was getting thin and dirty from years of weather.

So, there you have it.  I'd said I wasn't going to do another landscaping project.  That I'm too old for this, and anything done in the future would be hired out.  I did hire out the last project.  It was expensive but worth it (replacing two of my wood garden beds with stone).  But NOW I'm done with landscaping projects.

Evil:  "At least...until next year....when it's time to replace the wood framing on those other three beds.  And since you'll want them to match these new ones, you'll need to make them yourself.  And since the crushed gravel has already been removed in those beds, replacing the wood frames will be easy.  A piece of cake!"

Nooooooooooooo!!!!